When we esteem ourselves we say, I hope you like me, but I do not need you to because I am happy and comfortable with who I am. Esteem means ‘thinking highly of’. Self-esteem describes a person’s overall sense of self-worth or personal value and it reflects how much you might like or approve of yourself.
Self-esteem supports us in staying steady and grounded in the face of challenges, it means living in a comfortable skin where – no matter what life throws at us – we can always view it from a place of presence for what is really happening, without experiencing anxiety for what might happen in the future. It is a strength that comes from acknowledging who we truly are and believing in our inherent worth.
Our level of self-worth depends on whether or not we feel valued for who we truly are. Our deepest emotional need is to feel loved. When we feel unloved we struggle to survive (Gary Chapman)
The truth is that we each have inherent value and worth. Just because we may not be as shiny or glossy as another person, does not mean we do not hold the same value.
How we view the world shapes our level of self-esteem. When we feel steady and grounded in ourselves, we can trust in the world and view it from a place of hope. When our conditioning has somehow gotten in the way of us trusting that we will be okay if we present a truly honest version of who we are, we may instead view the world with skepticism and judgment. This may prevent us from developing meaningful connections.
When this becomes problematic, we need to go through a process of unlearning the behaviours and beliefs that no longer serve us in our adult relationships. Each of us has a different story to tell.
Have you ever stopped to question your belief system, how it shapes your view of the world and who you are in it?
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