We all have a version of “I am enough” and “if only, then I will be happy”. However, consistently listening to this voice and believing it as the truth can be really detrimental to our sense of self. This has consequences when it comes to our relationship with our body. It leads to perfectionist belief systems and self-limiting behaviours. We become our harshest critic. A negative spiral begins where try to avoid our inner critic by engaging in distracting behaviours, such as binging. This escalates to feelings of failure and more criticism.
4 ways we can update our programme and feed into a positive feedback loop
Compassion is the antidote to the inner critic. We nurture inner compassion each time we say “it’s okay, you’re okay / I’m okay”.
Gratitude allows us to see ourselves differently. For example, we can focus on what we like about ourselves and how our body allows us experience so much joy.
Here is a short practice: Notice what your most dominant sense is right now. Notice what you see / smell / taste / touch / feel. For example, if it’s sound, notice what lens you hear through – is it anxiety or enjoyment? If it’s anxiety, can you now listen for appealing sounds, and notice how they make you feel?
When we make a mistake, can we learn from it and ask what will we do differently the next time? Can we remind ourselves that we deserve to be forgiven.
Updating our programme to self acceptance allows for a new curiosity about our emotions and feelings. We can ask, “is this true for me right now or am I being reminded or something from the past?”
So when we want to reach for the wine or the chocolate, are we are being reminded of something painful that we want to numb? If we really have a craving, can we allow ourselves to consciously enjoy the food we crave as opposed to eating it with guilt?
Our body is a hugely valuable part of us that deserves to be cared for and respected.
If you would like to work with me to improve your relationship, get in touch by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or tel 087 2301342.